I thought that I had succeeded in letting go of the anger and disappointment about my family’s behavior.<\/p>\n
<\/span><\/p>\n But no—, after years my anger suddenly reappeared at a family gathering.<\/p>\n I was surprised at my fierce reaction; I thought I had left the whole issue behind.Through the student pastoral care I obtained my Insight Out. I found out that I was so sensitive because I still hope for harmony in the family. And that I expect the others to find family harmony as important as I do.<\/p>\n The theme became clear: I want a clean ship. But I don’t have control over what my family members say that hits me so hard.<\/strong><\/p>\n By looking at my strategy and my core-quality, I realize that I can take control. I no longer don’t have to bear the entire responsibility for keeping the family together. I let go of the expectation that the others will help me. I now feel: \u201cthey will not do it “.
\nNow I leave the responsibility for their actions with them. I am only and fully responsible for my own choices. By forgiving them that they are doing what they do, and relieving myself of the ‘job’ I gave myself, I am forgiving everyone, including myself. That gives a feeling of freedom, instead of the feeling of being trapped in the dynamics of my family.
\nI was also referred to a website about forgiveness by Willem Glaudemans, where the steps of forgiveness towards someone else, and yourself, are nicely described. “From wound to wonder”.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":2480,"template":"","class_list":["post-2677","inspiration","type-inspiration","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/myinsightout.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/inspiration\/2677","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/myinsightout.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/inspiration"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/myinsightout.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/inspiration"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/myinsightout.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2480"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/myinsightout.nl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2677"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}